But you will be called "My delight is in her"

Ahhhh so much to share, I need to blog more...these posts get too long and probably boring to all of you --busy with your own lives--- people!!

Hermano Pedro

I did want to share with you about two sweeties at Hermano Pedro. After seeing the difference your prayers make in these children's lives, how could I not share. I KNOW your hearts, I have heard them, seen them and been blessed by them and don't think for one second that because you aren't here day in and day out that you aren't involved in effective ministry with these specific children. Our calendar booked until July already this year with mission teams would say differently and the prayer support that rallies within an hour of me sending an e-mail prayer request out as e-mails come flooding back in and the phone starts ringing just from people saying that they are praying... is testimony of your hearts on fire to make a difference!! Thank you for being in the battle, I feel privileged to walk with you!!

This past week I had Madi home with a baby sitter taking a nap and Hannah and I had run to spend some time with the kids at Hermano Pedro.....hitting the malnourished ward first, no sooner had we walked through the door than Hannah had her hands full with one of our cleft palate babies...little Jose hadn't had surgery yet so his little mouth ( lip) looked ( and is) split wide open but was happy as a clam and had a smile that would kill anyone...I grinned at the two of them and started over to see Alex, but was stopped by this little screeching cry coming from the bed next to his. Glancing at the name tag on her metal bed, I read "Nidia" and my heart stopped when I looked inside the metal slats to see a little girl, maybe 3 or 4 years old so malnourished her little wrist were the size of my first finger. She couldn't have weighed more than nine pounds, it just wasn't possible... her hair had fallen out in clumps because of the starvation and she lay there weakly screeching, eyes wildly roving the ceiling...the last thing she wanted to do when I pulled the metal bars down on her bed was to make eye contact, she purposefully looked everywhere but my eyes. I picked up her little body, knowing that even was hurting her and lay her on my shoulder and the screeching stopped and literally she melted into my arms and pressed her little head against my chest, right where my heart was. I whispered in her ear that today she had a new name, she was no longer cast aside or forgotten...today she was known and treasured. "Your name is Cherish" I whispered to her, at the time not even knowing what was compelling me to give her another name, but wanting the enemy to know, he had forever lost his grasp on this one.

"And you will be called by a new name

Which the mouth of the LORD will designate.

You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD

And a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken,"
But you will be called, "My delight is in her,"
For the LORD delights in you" Is 62

(Our own Amanda Hope, adopted from Guatemala... picture taken the day we heard about her)

(Amanda this past Summer....the joy and delight of her whole family!)

The nurses said she was brand new, had only been there a few days. I found a rocking chair against the wall that I sat and held her frail little body. Around that time Mary burst into the cold ward in her cute sunshiny-ness, calling out greetings to the nurses...everyone loves her in that hospital and watching her... pony tail swinging and her ready-to-laugh-cuteness, I knew why. She picked up Alex who was just as delighted to see her as she was him and we laughed as he laughed and interacted better than he had in so long...... It was time to leave, time to put "littles" back in their cages, time to pull the metal bars back up and here that "click" of them locking that makes shadows pass back over the faces of the prisoners inside of them. I pulled Nidia away from my chest, the screeching started again and laid her back in her cold bed. Mary laid Alex down and we started to walk away....silent tears streamed down his face and he cried so hard, all completely silently that he started to choke and and his body went into spasms. The nurse walked over and in typical reaction picked him up and literally dropped him back on the bed ( I guess they think that clears the airways) all the while tears were streaming down his beautiful face. Finally our little Alex who we watched starving in the downstairs ward for years had been moved upstairs to the malnourished ward...he was getting better, his cheeks chubbier and his smile coming from a full tummy rather than only from the sweetness of his spirit...finally he was well enough to not just struggle for mere survival but to feel the loss of love in his lonely existences and so the tears fell from his beautiful black eyes, he didn't want to be walked away from again.

We were silent as we left the hospital to meet the boys working at a coffee shop, quiet as we kissed our husbands and I sat down at a nearby computer to start working on my next mission team coming the end of February and started listening to my ipod, one of my favorite songs was playing and usually hearing about the love of God and His mercy brings me joy and comfort but not that day, I just couldn't listen...not anymore. It was impossible to hear about the mercy of God extended to me when it looked like it was being withheld from children like Cherish and Alex. Andrew got up from his computer and went and grabbed some kleenexes for me, Scott wonderful man that he is...walked over, put his arm around my shoulder and said he loved me and did I need anything from him...I shook my head no...almost hating the love that was abundant for me and lacking for "them" ...the tears wouldn't stop and Scott sensing the moment which is something he does well, kissed my forehead and walked away. I sat there and wrestled with God, wrestled with Him all through the night and the next day. This wasn't a new struggle for me or anyone else who spends time in places like Hermano Pedro, but I think it surprised me that I wasn't "passed" this struggle. Was His mercy "limited" was His arm short...if no to both of these, why was Cherish starving physically and emotionally and why did Alex struggle with a grief so deep a grief we can't fathom... the grief of being completely being forsaken. Later I was just browsing through a couple chapters in Isaiah and TRUTH came as it always does...faithfully, powerfully, tenderly even when I act like my spirited little Madi when she is quick to make assumptions on my heart for her. In Isaiah 59 it talks about injustice and the sins of a nation, but these words caught my eye

"Now the LORD saw, And it was displeasing in His sight

that there was no justice. And He saw that there was no man

And was astonished that there was no one to intercede;
Then His own arm brought salvation to them........A Redeemer WILL come to Zion"

That was truth over these children's lives, that was THE HOPE, THE PROMISE.

I think I will go kiss Cherish's little face tomorrow ...thank you for praying and for loving these babies!

GENERAL NEWS and UPDATE

I love today for all it's restful calming peace. Madi is sleeping on two chairs pushed together in our living room, fever has broken and she seems to be sleeping peacefully after a rough couple of days with the stomach flu, the dryer is on, the house is clean, I even got a shower and trust me after being up with a sick baby all night, THAT was a welcome treat and I am about to stick left over potatoe soup on the stove for dinner. It has been a hectic past few weeks, so today's calm is welcome!

Our dearest friends and family ( my brother) Andrew and ( his wife) Hannah have been here in Guatemala for three weeks and staying three more and not only have we had the most amazing time with them as we always do, late nights, dying of laughter, deep talks, soul searching and seeking God together...in them we find such deep soul connection, hearts exactly on the same page, not to mention we have a complete blast as couples....we have even been known to have special knocks on each other's walls when our bedrooms are next to each other...the "come over and let's talk even though it is one in the morning" knocks. Bottom line we love these two and consider their friendship, one of our greatest gifts. Andrew and Hannah before they were married both felt called separately to international missions, coming together at Bible school, only ignited their passion and brought more definition, they knew they were being called to bring rescue and a message of hope and healing to young girls who had been abused and were victims of sexual abuse and slavery. The cries of these very girls is loud and desperate in Guatemala and Andrew and Hannah heard and obeyed. They are coming under the minsitry of our dear friends, the Morins and Manos de Jesus ( Guatemalan side) Pray America ( stateside...see blog link on my sidebar) and moving down as full time missionaries this spring/summer. Check out their blog and leave a comment http://www.redeemedinnocence.blogspot.com/ We believe passionately in these two and see the hand and anointing of God all over their lives. We all spent about 5 days in Chichi, hanging with the leadership and the wonderful Guatemalan staff and participating in ministry. Scott and I too are praying about joining with Manos de Jesus in minsitry, just not sure we feel the release at this point to fully commit, but our hearts are there as it is a ministry meeting the needs maybe closest to His heart...widows and orphans. Their feeding program feeds 1000 (!!) children weekly, homes that have been built for widows now dot the beautiful mountains sides of Chichi, fresh clean water is offered to families....Christ is being preached in this Mayan community and it is all we can do at this point not to pack and move to beautiful very rural Chichi, but at this point.... we wait.

Andrew and Hannah's arrival in Guatemala was perfect, as they hit the same time as the Authenticos film team...after months of preparation and years of vision for all of us, to have this team here and filming need and ministries meeting those needs within Guatemala was nothing less than awesome. I pretty much walked around with a cell phone glued to my ear coordinating, so don't have pictures, but check out the web-site http://www.athentikos.com/ and please be praying with us that God uses this documentary to bring change and awareness as the "Forgotten" are exposed! I can't tell you how honored I felt to even tag along with this team. I firmly believe exposure can be one of the greatest tools against the enemy and it brings voice to those who otherwise have no voice. The compassion ran deep for every member on this team and I loved working with my good friends, Scott and Amelia Moore who directed the project! More soon!! Love you guys!!

Marvelous Light

Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross you are the truth,
You are the life, you are the way

I had been listening to this song all day and what a day it had been too, the middle of November....I left my apartment in Antigua ear-ly (sing song voice) as in 4am early, getting on the shuttle, forcing myself not to announce happily to every tired person in that packed van, that I was flying home to GET MARRIED....



....getting married to the boy I played hide and seek with when we were ten....but, we had grown up, had very separate journeys and God has brought us back together which is a WHOLE other story and miracle... but, I was deep in love that day and about to get on a plane in Guatemala and get off in Texas and step into wedding party central where just about everyone I loved most in the world were going to celebrate with us, this very miracle.




I made it to the airport and even made it to my gate an hour before we were supposed to depart. Even very happy, in love, brides to be, can get a little sleepy and a certain Kelsey had kept me awake until the wee hours of the morning delighting me with Pre Christmas for Madi....she bought out Old Navy and Target, so if anyone noticed that little girl size 2 winter stock was running low, it was because my Madi was being decked out by Kels, who had flown in the day before from Minnesota!! So there I was sitting at my gate and I fell just a little asleep, ipod playing and slept right through my flight's departure and even more embarrassing, they called my name three times on the loud speaker the laughing flight attendants told me later. I felt immediate peace about missing my flight, well maybe not immediate -- immediate... more like 20 mins of panic, then peace that God's hand was in this. I found out that I either could repeat the same flight the next day or leave later in the afternoon and spend the night in the Mexico City airport and arrive the next day around noon...I was already short on time so opted for the latter. I grabbed a taxi to the Marriott to spend a couple hours with my friends Kirk and Kelley
here to bring home their two little boys...our marathon battle of an adoption.



Word spread fast and Scott didn't want me staying the night at the Mexico City airport and while we were discussing possibilities, Peter (my bro) The Amazing made reservations for me at a hotel in Mexico City and his e-mail said..."..this is my early wedding present, enjoy and be refreshed in the Lord" By the time I was about to board the plane that afternoon, one of the flight attendants approached me and said " We have talked and we would like you to ride first class" Settled info my cushy first class seat I grinned to myself at the Lord and turned my ipod back on to have to turn it off again when I saw the the cock pit door open and one of the captains walked out and asked if he could sit with me for a minute. He told me that he felt like the Lord had laid it on his heart when he saw me that he needed to speak with me, so he gave me first class and asked who I was and what was I doing in Guatemala....so there we sat, the Guatemalan captain and the girl from Texas who lived in Guatemala....in first class. We talked about orphans and special needs children... we talked about adoptions being closed and the children who had already gone home and the ones still in Guatemala....we talked about the lives and stories of these children and both agreed that one could never just walk away, nor would you ever want to...those faces forever imprinted on your heart and mind, forever worthy of the fight for the lives, forever "our calling" forever His heart! He offered his help and his friends' help and gave me about ten different ways to reach him, so he could be apart of these children's lives. We shook hands and knew the Lord was present. I turned my ipod back on and that song "Into marvelous light" was playing and I looked out the little airplane window and cried...this was God...this was Guatemala!!



I barely even know where to start blogging again, but because I have been blessed with the most amazing friends and family in the world who love and support me despite long scattered blog posts like this, for them I am going to jump back in and start blogging again.... about our lives in Guatemala and His moving heart and hands that we are privileged to see here!

ALOT has happened this past year....we have had many mission teams come which has opened up so many new minsitry opportunities ( more on that soon!) Madi has graduated to pigtails, loves to be read to and is talking up a storm, so many of my children's adoptions have been completed and they have gone home ( I have some MIRACLE stories, You Guys!!!!) to their families, Madi loves to help me clean the house and for some reason is pretty convinced that she needs to do this in her bathing suit ( I am pretty fond of seeing her brown legs anyway, so don't argue.)



I wake up to a HUSBAND who has a heart full of passion for the Lord and ministry and blows me away with his wisdom, we moved into a new apartment, I still walk past the same children begging as I did last year....we just know each other's names and lives now, I have had my wonderful family all come visit us at different times...



....there have been tears, laughter, life changes and lives changed, God has moved and He has been faithful...I just can't wait to share it all with you!!!

It's good to be back.....Hi Katie!

Compassion International

...my friends and I had the privilege of driving up to Chimaltenango with Compassion Int' staff to see first hand the way the Lord is using this amazing ministry...it was one of those face hurting because I am smiling so much days...but, how could you help it, with the beautiful faces of hundreds of mothers and children beaming right back at you, testimony of the love of Jesus already shining in their lives through Compassion!! Most of you probably know about Compassion, how they come along side families in support, sponsor children, school and educate them, feeding programs, working through native Guatemalans and coming along side churches so they are enabling the people to help their own people on many different levels and on levels all of us can be involved in, making a difference...it was such a wonderful afternoon and I am so blessed by this ministry!!!!! http://www.compassion.com/about/where/guatemala.htm

I saw what I saw.....

...I am vowing never to get that sick again, never, at least not in my apartment by myself with a baby.....I have to laugh at what my dad always said to us kids growing up, anytime we would go through something rough ( rough as in being found during hide and seek, or leaving your best doll in the rain overnight or even falling off your bike and getting one of those bad concrete scrapes) "It builds character" he would say "It builds character" ...so it did and so it does... Madi and I had some good character building, the past few days....in finishing my long stretch of wretched dentist appointments, I have had since I lived in Guatemala ( and I am one of those white knuckled gripping, not eating a week before a simple cleaning (ha...little exaggerated) people, seriously dislike the entire profession)...so, how about some good character building, Dad...try about 24 hours in a dentist office over the past 10 months...hey, does it still count as building that old character, when you calmly ask the dentist to please drug you or knock you out so soundly that you don't wake up for at least, well, give it 48 hours...and in Guatemala, there is very little "red tape" to go through for such a request...more like, "Si no problemo" My dentist is great, really and does a great job, but a couple days ago, I left Madi with a sitter and went into the city for my second to the last appointment ( can you tell I have been counting) 5 hour one, at that....what a doozy and came home so sick, I couldn't see straight. With Madi as my nurse we battled through it though...poor child, I seriously don't remember even feeding her, but looking at my sink full of dishes, I must have, or maybe Madi whipped up some delectable's for the both of us, who truly knows!! My friend Sharon ( bless her) came laden with "ibuprofeno" ice cream, Gatorade and a "Get Well Soon" balloon, to Madi's delight, trust me, she deserved it, she was the hero baby of the hour, that's for sure!!

I had to share this song with you guys...many of you may have already heard it, but it so adequately describes the heart changing that the Lord allows, once our eyes have been open to need...

"Compassion ~ is not a bending toward the underprivileged from a privileged position; it is not a reaching out from on high to those who are less fortunate below; it is not a gesture of sympathy or pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull - .....On the contrary, compassion means going to those people and places where suffering is most acute and building a home there. God's compassion is total, absolute, unconditional, without reservation. It is the compassion of one who keeps going to the most forgotten corners of the world, and who cannot rest as long as he knows that there are still human beings with tears in their eyes."

"I saw what I saw

Sometimes, pictures are just better than words....

...and this seems like one of those moments. After an unforgettable ( on many different accounts) two weeks and more to share than I possibly have time to share at this time, I thought I would just post tons of pictures and then try to fill in the gaps of my last two weeks over the coming days. First, thank you guys so much for your e-mails,phone calls and for keeping up, letting me know you are praying and just for your support and friendship... I have no idea why I have been so blessed with such amazing, precious friends, but I am forever grateful that I have and your prayer support is what keep us going, seriously!! Some of the highlights of the past two weeks....

*** Time spent with my wonderful mom, who originally planned to come for a little under a week, but pushed her time back some and stayed for nearly two. We had such an amazing time and she was just my rock and support during some pretty hard days. We had a blast watching Seth ( my folks' youngest from Guatie) and Madi play and enjoy each other...I am afraid Madi taught "Angel Seth" a couple of her little tricks, but we just laughed and enjoyed our babies. My mom leaving all of her kids at home was a huge sacrifice and I really have no words to thank my folks for the time spent with her...only God could have orchestrated the timing of her visit....so good and "right" to be together again! We also were able to spend about three days with Lucas, the toddler my parents are in process of adopting...Lucas needs surgery in the states and we are praying his long journey home will be over soon and he can receive the help he needs! He is a doll baby!
(this is my mom and Seth)


****My girls and dear friends, Mary and Kelley coming for almost a week from Michigan.... spending time with them was probably the most refreshing time, I can remember, in a long time. Thank you Kirk and Tim for holding down the homefronts. We laughed, prayed, talked, talked, talked and talked. These two are the true meaning of the word "friends" and pretty much as soon as I saw them, I just started crying, after a rough couple of months with major upheaval in Guatemala regarding adoptions, and it effecting EVERYTHING we touch, the enemy pounding on our doors, hard, just seeing my friends' faces, sent me over the edge and true to style, they were there, with open arms, the words of God and hearts that are as true as they come.....Kelley came to see her two boys who she and her hubby are in process of adopting, rough adoption and their faith has been humbling to all of us on the sidelines. We spent time in Chichi with the Pray America ministry, with Steve Osborn with Amor Del Nino ministry and just seeking His face as we all are sensing this orphan ministry vision He has laid on our hearts, come to fruition. We also spent time at Hermano Pedro, first time for Kelley and Mary but they didn't lose much time as we all gathered around a little girl who is about 6 years old in the malnutrition ward, who was having seizure after seizure right before our eyes and the choking and not being able to breath was killing her....we took her stiff little body out of her "cage", bowed back in a "U" shape as she continued to have seizures and just laid hands on her and began to pray and then watched as right before our eyes and in our arms, the Lord miraculously, cleared her airway, stopped her seizures and touched her little body....we cried and praised God. Ron Morin
( director of Pray America) also blessed the three of us with a free taxi ride and day spent in Panachel, had lunch overlooking Lake Atitlan and enjoyed every second!



*****My dear friend, Sharon who has battled for the life of her adopted daughter, Bella....for over 14 months that she has lived here in Guatemala away from her husband and family, during a very stretching and "impossibly" hard adoption process, received word that the courts officially agreed with what Greg and Sharon have known from day one, that Bella was their daughter and the victory is all God's...only HE could have pulled this one off!! Rejoicing with my friends!!! We love you, Greg, Sharon, Irene and Bella
(our girls, Bella and Madi are the best of friends, we are going to miss being neighbors and seeing each other daily!)

****The passing of the Ortega law, which sent sent every family considering or in process of adopting from Guatemala in a tailspin.... how would this effect the children, the families, adoptions, the rescue of children...the questions were many and came flooding and I have to say the flood knocked us off our feet...it was and is a heavy time and the anti adoption sentiments are strong right now, in Guatemala. Please just pray, pray that the Lord would be honored, be Victor, that He would continue to "place the solitary in families" and that the enemy would be bound. More on all of this soon....there is a lot to share and much more to pray about, we in Guatemala are just in desperate need of His mercy and His power revealed on behalf of the

children.....

*****and......wait... well, I have many more highlights, but wasn't this supposed to be a blog with more pictures than words, I think I just blew that right out of the water....well, then let the pictures begin and I will stop rambling.... for now, anyway....
Love you, guys so much and thank you for your faithful friendships and support!

(this is the Scott's with Lucas's wonderful foster family)

(One of our TSCM babies...Jonathan, who is GOING HOME, we just heard the good news this week!)

Taking the moment...

Sharon and I were just headed to the long check out line at the Bodagona ( our grocery store) when I spotted my friend Sarah's husband, Tony and their son Jacob, strapped in a front pack to his dad. "Hey" we called out over the crowd and Tony made his way over to us while I laughed and said "You doing the whole single dad shopping trick?" he laughed right back and said " Yep, how am I doing?!" Our conversation soon turned to what we are all talking about these days in Guatemala and our friends and families are talking about back home and my adopting families are talking about with me daily, the political climate of adoptions, which is in complete upheaval. Tony commented that he and Sarah just felt strongly that if for some reason they were stuck in the adoption process for Jacob and the country closed, they would simply see the Lord's hand in leading them to live in Guatemala... Jacob snuggled closer to his daddy and I marveled at this couple's faith, but he struck a cord in my heart for those children who were not snuggled in the front pack of a parent who was willing to lay their life down in love for them....so this is a plea for all of you faithful friends to gather at the throne on behalf of the many little ones in Guatemala who are without families and hope, that the Lord would have mercy!! Politics are at their height here in Guatemala, strong statements by the Department of State have been issued, speculations made, rumors flying that spark fear in families waiting to bring their children home, we guess and second guess to try and figure out what is going to happen, we look back at the history of other countries that have been closed down for some time by the implementation of the Hague, and most of all we try and wrap our hearts around the fact that children as precious as yours and mine will be deprived from the only thing they really need and most of all deserve, families and to be sons and daughters and not "nameless" rejects....these children have faces. I ask you to think of your children, your grandchildren, your nieces and nephews and with the preciousness of their lives imprinted on your hearts, please pray for the children of Guatemala and let's trust Him to faithful and mighty to save!


THANK YOU, Katie Mohr and all our amazing friends who shipped across country a whole suitcase full of goodies for Sharon, Irene, Bella, Madi and me.....we had "Christmas" at my apartment as we reveled over each coloring book, puzzle, magazine, books, toys, clothes... literally we were giddy excited...we are still trying to sort who gave what so we can thank you individually, but until then, thank you each so so much. We felt very "loved on" and seriously each gift was SO perfect and fun!!!


Silly Madi in her brand new clothes, tags still on...Irene couldn't wait and had her stripped down and a new outfit on within seconds! :)

AND last but not least, not sure if it appropriate to post pictures of toilets but I couldn't resist sharing what I found tonight....after working on the computer, I looked up and Madi wasn't in the living room playing anymore and she was WAY to quiet to be up to any good and sure enough I found her in the bathroom trying to drown her shoe and bottle!!

I started to correct her soundly, but I just couldn't and broke out laughing at her determined little face, finger still on the "trigger" wondering why those suckers wouldn't flush!!! I grabbed her, wet jammies and all and kissed her until she wished I would stop...life goes so fast and with so many hard, heart breaking things going on right now in Guatemala, I just had to treasure this moment I had with my little chocolate chip...we could change her jammies and probably the tennis shoe would never quite be the same, but who cares, 'cause as I put her to bed tonight and she grinned at me behind her bottle, I wondered all over again if your heart can burst with love!